Pour Me Another Cup - Thoughts on Lent

 I couldn't wait until Monday. It had been a full 40 days since I had gulped down a caffeinated cup of coffee. I had also sworn off caffeinated tea, any kind of soda and anything alcoholic, all for Lent.

Now here are a few things you need to know. First, I am a huge consumer of coffee. In fact, the coffee producers of the world may have thought that their drop in sales over the last month was due to increased fuel prices, but in reality, it was because I had sworn off the stuff. Second, this is the first time I've ever practiced any kind of fast for Lent. The Protestant tradition I grew up in did not recognize Lent (or, really Easter) as a religious celebration or observance. So in celebrating this season, I was breaking new ground personally.

I tried to keep the whole thing quiet - Jesus says that our fasts should not be done to gain attention for ourselves, so I merely told folks that I was trying to decaffeinate, which was completely, honestly, true. Though I didn't tell them why I was decaffeinating.

Which I suppose is the reason for this post. Why give up anything? And why coffee, soda, and alcohol? And did it make a difference?

First of all, the reason I chose to give up my big three is because the time of Lent is a fast to remind us of Jesus' 40 days of fasting in the desert, and to remind us of the days leading up to his death, burial and resurrection. And, usually in the tradition of fasting, it leads us to change something about our own lives. And there are some things I needed to change. I felt that more than anything else, these outside inputs had the potential to alter my personality and mood. Why am I so dang grouchy? It might be because I take in too much caffeine. Why do I lack energy? It could be because of too much sugar. How does a couple of glasses of wine affect me physically, mentally, and relationally? In the big picture, all of these areas of my life and health affect the way I treat others, so I wanted to remove them from the equation to see if it improved the way I relate to my wife, my kids, and my neighbors.

The results are mixed. I have some good news, and some bad news. The good news is, coffee doesn't affect my sleep. What I mean by that is, I've had a terrible time getting a good night's sleep for years. I go through cycles where I don't sleep at all. I've chocked it up to too much caffeine every day. But it's a vicious cycle - you drink too much coffee, you don't sleep, so in the morning you're tired, so you drink more coffee. But it turns out, during the 40 days of Lent, I still didn't sleep worth a darn. And that's good news how? Because that means I can drink as much coffee, soda, and alcohol as I want, and it wont' make a difference in my sleep patterns. That's good (in a warped kind of way).

Here's the bad news. I was really, really, hoping that the change in my inputs would change my own outputs. I was hoping that too much caffeine was the reason I was angry so often. I was hoping that the reason my kids got on my nerves so quickly was because I was electrified with coffee and soda. I was sure that I would quit jumping down my wife's throat once I removed the black stuff.  I was envisioning me being a peaceful, encouraging, Jesus-like husband and father after 40 days, but, no. It turns out that's not necessarily the case.

Which means it's just me. I'm just that way, and I have to deal with myself - the stuff on the inside, instead of the stuff coming from the outside. Gee, I think Jesus said something about this: "Nothing outside a man can make him 'unclean' by going into him. Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him 'unclean." Mark 7:15.

But I think it's worth 40 days to discover this. It means I have a lot of work to do, but I at least know where to start. No more excuses.

What about you - have you ever practiced a fast for Lent? Did you discover anything about yourself? Tell us.